Slider




A friend once wrote a poem about me



And a part said




"[people] they try to fit her pieces where they shouldn't be...


that is sad though."

But what if I'm handing them those pieces

Begging them to help

"Please, can you tell me

Where this one

And that one go?"

Because today

And most days

I don't even know where my own pieces 

belong.




Pieces

May 27, 2020




A friend once wrote a poem about me



And a part said




"[people] they try to fit her pieces where they shouldn't be...


that is sad though."

But what if I'm handing them those pieces

Begging them to help

"Please, can you tell me

Where this one

And that one go?"

Because today

And most days

I don't even know where my own pieces 

belong.





I often wonder if something is wrong with my hands.

They don’t seem to know when to hold on

And when to let go—

Always too tight around someone long gone

Always too loose around the boy in my bed.

Hands

April 23, 2020


I often wonder if something is wrong with my hands.

They don’t seem to know when to hold on

And when to let go—

Always too tight around someone long gone

Always too loose around the boy in my bed.


I fall in love too quickly

And I think that’s okay

In fact, I love that about myself

It’s not without struggle or heartbreak, that’s for sure

I don’t know what purpose I believe in for us here anymore

But I do know

That we came here to feel something

And make others feel something too

Make Me Feel



I fall in love too quickly

And I think that’s okay

In fact, I love that about myself

It’s not without struggle or heartbreak, that’s for sure

I don’t know what purpose I believe in for us here anymore

But I do know

That we came here to feel something

And make others feel something too

Everyone always tells you that heartbreak is sad

That they get it

Everyone gets it

But they don’t tell you

How it feels

Like someone

sitting on your chest

While you play house

And all the best tricks and love

Aren’t enough

To make them stay

How powerless it feels

Like caring for a dying grandparent

The end inevitable

So you make it as comfortable and kind

As you can

And in two seconds you’re four again

And dad isn’t coming home

And no one tells you

That hurts too

Because “for the better”

Never cuts it

When you really just want someone

Anyone

To stay 

Just a little longer

Just this one time

Playing House

April 20, 2020


Everyone always tells you that heartbreak is sad

That they get it

Everyone gets it

But they don’t tell you

How it feels

Like someone

sitting on your chest

While you play house

And all the best tricks and love

Aren’t enough

To make them stay

How powerless it feels

Like caring for a dying grandparent

The end inevitable

So you make it as comfortable and kind

As you can

And in two seconds you’re four again

And dad isn’t coming home

And no one tells you

That hurts too

Because “for the better”

Never cuts it

When you really just want someone

Anyone

To stay 

Just a little longer

Just this one time
Road Trip: Flower Route (Bloemen Route), Netherlands.

Lately, I've felt neither here nor there.

Who am I kidding?

I've felt neither here nor there since the day I was born

Have always wanted to sip the wine

— blood like my first fuzzy baby hairs

But never drink a full glass.

All I want to be able to say

Is that I lived and tried

Not left gently

Or afraid

Because she who knows love

not need fear death.

But the pews feel so suffocating

While everyone says they can breathe better

The walls feel too high

Too enclosed

I breathe better in open spaces.

I love Jesus-like

While I don't totally love

The God they speak for

Who says no drink of wine

Not even a drop

But what if I want to live

Neither here nor there

For me you have made no room.

No room for the ones I love most

Who think differently, or talk differently

Or who love just like you

Yet you call it an abomination.

I will never drink the full cup,

Only drops here or there

And I'm learning

To be okay with that

I'm learning

To still love my body

my brain

my heart

my soul

That eternally seem to be

neither here nor there.

Neither Here Nor There

May 26, 2019

Road Trip: Flower Route (Bloemen Route), Netherlands.

Lately, I've felt neither here nor there.

Who am I kidding?

I've felt neither here nor there since the day I was born

Have always wanted to sip the wine

— blood like my first fuzzy baby hairs

But never drink a full glass.

All I want to be able to say

Is that I lived and tried

Not left gently

Or afraid

Because she who knows love

not need fear death.

But the pews feel so suffocating

While everyone says they can breathe better

The walls feel too high

Too enclosed

I breathe better in open spaces.

I love Jesus-like

While I don't totally love

The God they speak for

Who says no drink of wine

Not even a drop

But what if I want to live

Neither here nor there

For me you have made no room.

No room for the ones I love most

Who think differently, or talk differently

Or who love just like you

Yet you call it an abomination.

I will never drink the full cup,

Only drops here or there

And I'm learning

To be okay with that

I'm learning

To still love my body

my brain

my heart

my soul

That eternally seem to be

neither here nor there.
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