A friend once wrote a poem about me
And a part said
"[people] they try to fit her pieces where they shouldn't be...
that is sad though."
But what if I'm handing them those pieces
Begging them to help
"Please, can you tell me
Where this one
And that one go?"
Because today
And most days
I don't even know where my own pieces
belong.
Pieces
May 27, 2020
A friend once wrote a poem about me
And a part said
"[people] they try to fit her pieces where they shouldn't be...
that is sad though."
But what if I'm handing them those pieces
Begging them to help
"Please, can you tell me
Where this one
And that one go?"
Because today
And most days
I don't even know where my own pieces
belong.
I often wonder if something is wrong with my hands.
They don’t seem to know when to hold on
And when to let go—
Always too tight around someone long gone
Always too loose around the boy in my bed.
Hands
April 23, 2020
I often wonder if something is wrong with my hands.
They don’t seem to know when to hold on
And when to let go—
Always too tight around someone long gone
Always too loose around the boy in my bed.
I fall in love too quickly
And I think that’s okay
In fact, I love that about myself
It’s not without struggle or heartbreak, that’s for sure
I don’t know what purpose I believe in for us here anymore
But I do know
That we came here to feel something
And make others feel something too
Make Me Feel
I fall in love too quickly
And I think that’s okay
In fact, I love that about myself
It’s not without struggle or heartbreak, that’s for sure
I don’t know what purpose I believe in for us here anymore
But I do know
That we came here to feel something
And make others feel something too
Everyone always tells you that heartbreak is sad
That they get it
Everyone gets it
But they don’t tell you
How it feels
Like someone
sitting on your chest
While you play house
And all the best tricks and love
Aren’t enough
To make them stay
How powerless it feels
Like caring for a dying grandparent
The end inevitable
So you make it as comfortable and kind
As you can
And in two seconds you’re four again
And dad isn’t coming home
And no one tells you
That hurts too
Because “for the better”
Never cuts it
When you really just want someone
Anyone
To stay
Just a little longer
Just this one time
Playing House
April 20, 2020
Everyone always tells you that heartbreak is sad
That they get it
Everyone gets it
But they don’t tell you
How it feels
Like someone
sitting on your chest
While you play house
And all the best tricks and love
Aren’t enough
To make them stay
How powerless it feels
Like caring for a dying grandparent
The end inevitable
So you make it as comfortable and kind
As you can
And in two seconds you’re four again
And dad isn’t coming home
And no one tells you
That hurts too
Because “for the better”
Never cuts it
When you really just want someone
Anyone
To stay
Just a little longer
Just this one time
Lately, I've felt neither here nor there.
Who am I kidding?
I've felt neither here nor there since the day I was born
Have always wanted to sip the wine
— blood like my first fuzzy baby hairs—
— blood like my first fuzzy baby hairs—
But never drink a full glass.
All I want to be able to say
Is that I lived and tried
Not left gently
Or afraid
Because she who knows love
not need fear death.
But the pews feel so suffocating
While everyone says they can breathe better
The walls feel too high
Too enclosed
The walls feel too high
Too enclosed
I breathe better in open spaces.
I love Jesus-like
While I don't totally love
The God they speak for
Who says no drink of wine
Not even a drop
But what if I want to live
Neither here nor there
For me you have made no room.
No room for the ones I love most
Who think differently, or talk differently
Or who love just like you
Yet you call it an abomination.
I will never drink the full cup,
Only drops here or there
And I'm learning
To be okay with that
I'm learning
To still love my body
my brain
my heart
my soul
That eternally seem to be
neither here nor there.
neither here nor there.
Neither Here Nor There
May 26, 2019
Lately, I've felt neither here nor there.
Who am I kidding?
I've felt neither here nor there since the day I was born
Have always wanted to sip the wine
— blood like my first fuzzy baby hairs—
— blood like my first fuzzy baby hairs—
But never drink a full glass.
All I want to be able to say
Is that I lived and tried
Not left gently
Or afraid
Because she who knows love
not need fear death.
But the pews feel so suffocating
While everyone says they can breathe better
The walls feel too high
Too enclosed
The walls feel too high
Too enclosed
I breathe better in open spaces.
I love Jesus-like
While I don't totally love
The God they speak for
Who says no drink of wine
Not even a drop
But what if I want to live
Neither here nor there
For me you have made no room.
No room for the ones I love most
Who think differently, or talk differently
Or who love just like you
Yet you call it an abomination.
I will never drink the full cup,
Only drops here or there
And I'm learning
To be okay with that
I'm learning
To still love my body
my brain
my heart
my soul
That eternally seem to be
neither here nor there.
neither here nor there.
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